Holy Hindering Hardware! No, this e-pistle is not being ghost written by Lorenzo Semple, Jr. in order to provide Burt Ward with an excited exclamation to shout to Adam West while in a corner laughing maniacally is Cesar Romero. The first day of August was at one time the feast known as Saint Peter’s Chains. One really wishes this feast had been kept because the Protestants would actually appreciate it since there is an honorable mention of the chains that bound Peter in the twelfth chapter of the Acts of the Apostles. Although, in all fairness to well intentioned but frivolous ecumenical gestures, the chains being celebrated are those which bound the Prince of the Apostles in the city of Rome in the year 68 and not the ones imposed by the impious Herod. In the Fifth Century the pious princess Eudoxia built a beautiful basilica to honorably house the precious penal implements. In order to substitute a solemnity in honor of the first Bishop of Rome and Vicar of Christ for a patently pagan festivity flattering, I meant to say, honoring, the Emperor Augustus at the beginning of the month (thanks to a perversely pliant Senate) formerly known as Sextilis the church was dedicated on the first of August.
So this day should be one of joy as the children of Mother Church shepherded by the Holy Father meditate upon the blessed fact hat no matter what subtle benignly appearing malevolent machinations utilized the gates of hell shall never prevail.
Vivat Christus Rex!
Mr. Screwtape
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