Erroneously referred to as “Spanish soap opera” but forming a distinct genre of serial dramatic popular programming by having a predetermined duration and termination, the telenovela is an almost sacred staple in many a happy Hispanic household. Recently strolling through the collections of the Metropolitan Museum of Art one encountered a late 15th century Netherlandish altarpiece ( http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/search-the-collections/110001475) delightfully depicting the sacred story of a suffering saint that would rival the packed plot of any terrific telenovela.
From the venerable Catholic Encyclopedia one proudly presents the spectacular story of that Flemish favorite [cue dramatic pause] Saint Godeliève [theme flourish] also known as Godeleva or Godelina: “The youngest of the three children born to Hemfrid, seigneur of Wierre-Effroy, and his wife Ogina [pleasant idyllic chords play], Godelina was accustomed as a child to exercises of piety and was soon distinguished for a solidity of virtue extraordinary for one of her years [crescendo]. The poor flocked from all sides to the young girl, whose desires to satisfy their necessities often involved her in difficulties with her father’s steward and even with her pious father himself[intense close up of Dad’s consternation]. By her eighteenth year the fame of her beauty and admirable qualities had spread far and wide through Artois and even into Flanders, and many suitors presented themselves [cue romantic music as she descends stairs in colorful, flowing dress]; but, the decision being left with Godelina, she persisted in the resolution she had made of renouncing the world for the cloister [intense close up of determined visage]. One of the young noblemen, Bertolf of Ghistelles, determined to leave nothing undone,[emphatically bangs fist on table] invoked the influence of her father’s suzerain, Eustache II, Count of Boulogne, [close up of beard stroking] whose representations proved successful. [cue wedding march] After the wedding Bertolf and his bride set out for Ghistelles, where, however, Godelina found a bitter and unrelenting enemy in Bertolf’s mother [cue sinister theme], who induced her son to forsake his wife on the very day of their arrival [dramatic thumping], and immured Godelina in a narrow cell, with barely enough nourishment to support life [close up of mother-in-law evilly smirking]. Even this, however, the saint contrived to share with the poor [cue triumphant theme]. Under the influence of his mother, Bertolf spread abroad foul calumnies about his bride [dramatic thumping, again]. After some time Godelina managed to escape to the home of her father, who roused the Bishop of Tournai and Soissons [tears of shock] and the Count of Flanders [indignant anger] to threaten Bertolf with the terrors of Church and State [background extras don cowboy hats]. Seemingly repentant, he promised to restore his wife to her rightful position, but [sinister theme] her return to Ghistelles was the signal for a renewal of persecution in an aggravated form. After about a year Bertolf, again feigning sorrow [close up of crocodile tears], easily effected a reconciliation, but only to avoid the suspicion of the crime he was meditating. During his absence two of his servants [cue malevolent music] at his direction strangled Godelina causing it to appear that she had died a natural death [close up of hand falling limp to tragic music]. Bertolf [seen smiling] soon contracted a second marriage, but the daughter born to him was blind from birth [dramatic thumping]. Her miraculous recovery of sight through the intercession of St. Godelina [choral flourish] so affected her father that, now truly converted [and bawling inconsolably], he journeyed to Rome to obtain absolution for his crime, undertook a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, and finally entered the monastery of St-Winoc at Bergues, where he expiated his sins [flashbacks to cruel treatment] by a life of severe penance [sounds of whips zinging]. At his desire his daughter [close up of beautiful and innocent face] erected at Ghistelles a Benedictine monastery dedicated to St. Godelina, which she entered as a religious. Devotion to St. Godelina dates from 1084, when her body was exhumed [cue triumphant march] by the Bishop of Tournai and Noyon, and her relics [cue tinkling cascade], recognized at various times by ecclesiastical authority, are to be found in various cities of Belgium [theme flourish, roll credits].”
The feast of this marvelous martyr to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is kept on the Octave Day of Ss. Peter and Paul, the 6th of July. And in true telenovela fashion, her celestial patronage is ironically invoked in cases of sore throats.
Mr. Screwtape
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